Is it Resistance or is it something else?

[Shawn King]

Food arrives. I leave

Salt and spice on the table

To taste the cook’s truth.

In my experience, there appears to be a deeper and more fundamental understanding to be found within experiences commonly dismissed as "resistance."  What do you think?

 

I have found that the concept of “resistance” does not resonate with me. If I use the phrase “act of creation” to describe the nature of my experience when an event evokes a strong emotional response in me, I am using a poetic pointer, as it were, to communicate the nature of my experience in its “raw” form, before the experience has been “cooked” (by my mind) into a story.  This is the place I prefer to begin.  The pointer indicates a simple fact, that my experiences arise within me, and as they are unique to me in this moment, the simplest, least-storied, most raw understanding of them is that they are of my own creation, even if I do not control them or choose them per se. Here, I invite the reader to consider the possibility that as a creator of your own experiences you may generate them spontaneously without actually controlling them or choosing their initial form and energy – the initial emergence happens before awareness, cognition etc. can be brought into play.

 

When what I initial experience is a story in itself, I can and generally prefer to take this story raw, rather than discard/reject/hide/transmute it or make a story about the story, or to explain it as part of a system of understanding or as part of a theory, which is story-making on a grand scale.  I am aware that some stories can be helpful or beneficial. I generally choose to start with the least story, to make least-story the solid ground my awareness stands upon regardless of where it reaches, as it were.  To me, the concept of “resistance” is an explanation of purpose or meaning ascribed to my raw experience, and is thus added story. This is not to say added story is wrong, or that I never engage in it, only that my preference is to start without it. Is not taking my own experience just as it arises my most direct and pure way to fully accept it?  Is this not the most loving state or stance to be in reference to my own experiences, and by extension, the most loving state or stance to be in when another person relates their experience to me?

 

This practice of taking my own experiences into my awareness with minimal story-making helps create and sustain my sense that what I experience - emotions, stories, all of it -is about me, not about anyone else, even when my experience is evoked by someone else. As creator of my own experiences, I am responsible for them. I hold myself responsible for my own experiences and, in doing so, invite others I relate to into do the same for their own experiences.

 

All this said, in my relating, I have discovered that when I am looking at (aware of) a “don’t want” and “don’t like” experience within myself in this moment, it is as if I am looking at the back of a desire, or the tail of a coin. It is then beneficial for me to walk my awareness around to the front where I can see the face of my desire or the face of what pleases me. Many helpful discoveries result :)

[Julie Keniry]

I love that you have opened up the box of “resistance” for us to peer inside.  It forms this image in my mind of each of us coming to the box and reaching in to pull out surprising and oddly shaped items that seemingly would not fit in a box that size…like Mary Poppins’ carpet bag.  Revisiting the commonly accepted idea of resistance also highlights something that I feel is important to remember which is that none of us has THE answer…we each only have our answer…our truth…and even that is always evolving.

For me, I don’t mind using the word resistance to describe those moments when my being says “NO” though maybe we’ll evolve new language during this discussion that I’ll come to like better.  Initially, I like to view those moments where I feel a strong unpleasant emotion as resistance because I want to own that if it’s true.  I want to see what it is and release it…and allowing myself to be reactive actually seems to help me see the different aspects of what I am resisting without over-thinking it.

Sometimes it truly is something relatively simple that, once I become aware of it, vanishes.  But other times it lingers…it pops up and down, in and out…spiraling and weaving through me.  It begins to inspire me to go in new directions because each time I look at its source, I see something that my being fundamentally disagrees with.  As I do this, I remove layers…I think these layers are fears I am releasing, what we typically think of with resistance…but some of it feels like something else.  It’s like this energy swirling around and each time it flows up against what it does not like…does not want…it goes deeper…like it’s creating new space.  Like it says, I’ll go here instead…not somewhere known but somewhere unknown…that’s why it seems new.

These are wordless thoughts…feelings…not even visual images so I can barely write them here to share with you.  I do not know what is inside these spaces as they seem sort of impenetrable…like my being is repelled from them before I get there…but externally, in my mind and in my life, I feel inspired to follow new leads.  I can only see this to describe it to you because it is happening to me right now and it is happening over time…what I resist hasn’t vanished immediately upon my awareness of it.

I keep going back energetically to that which I “resist” to see what it is…to see if I can get closer to it before I am repelled.  In this case, I don’t feel I’ve reached its core.  My feeling is that it will vanish once I have reached the core but meanwhile it is absolutely an “act of creation”…inspiring me both internally and externally to enter the unknown and seek that which I desire.

[Jennifer Archer]

Resistance is commonly engrained as being a bad thing… My mind drifts to Star Trek their encounter with the Borg. The Borg’s Mantra “Resistance is futile.” LOL. We do have a choice to not resist and be assimilated into the collective or resist and be destroyed. I suppose that is one view of resistance…probably not fitting for the purpose of this post:)

Often times I find myself resisting when it means change or entering unknown territory it’s almost a way of protecting oneself from possible harm, to avoid the work that maybe involved for change to occur, or merely the ‘I don’t want, need or have’ excuses. When I find myself resisting certain ideas, belief systems or events…I utilized this resistance as a tool; a trowel that sifts though life’s sludge or a notepad and pen taking notes…using this ‘resistance’ feeling allows space for questioning and for self examination. “Why am a resisting this?” “What is the real issue?” etc…The phrase, “Resistance is futile” used in the Star trek, means you won’t get anywhere it’s pointless to resist. This definition I “resist” to believe to be true. …HA! Perhaps there is partial truth to this….especially if we allow our resistance to dictate our behavior…

However you speak of resistance entirely different… if NOT at all; intriguing. Comingling experiences, awareness, minimum storytelling and more…I think I need to sit a while longer to understand.

[Shawn King]

Mmmm, I believe see a common understanding of opportunities to be found in the experiences described.  One thing I would like to add is a bit more on what I perceive to be some of the limitation of words/language. Some of what I wish to share and discuss in these forum threads I find very challenging to communicate.  It is as if the words themselves become bricks in a wall I want to push past, or rungs on a ladder that never quite reaches the essential understandings I wish to convey.  If words and phrases are directional pointers, like a compass, to my experience, perhaps once I am fully within that experience, fully in contact with it, the compass spins wildly, as it is essentially unable to point to itself.

[Jennifer Archer]

I see your point about "words" becoming bricks.   Words can become bricks and/or a compass and they can build foundations, walls and in some case bridges.   Trigger words...are the words that seem invoke the brick walls and at time cause the halt to a conversation.   I see benefits in examining words and I enjoy how you bring forth the conversation 

Shawn King said:

Mmmm, I believe see a common understanding of opportunities to be found in the experiences described.  One thing I would like to add is a bit more on what I perceive to be some of the limitation of words/language. Some of what I wish to share and discuss in these forum threads I find very challenging to communicate.  It is as if the words themselves become bricks in a wall I want to push past, or rungs on a ladder that never quite reaches the essential understandings I wish to convey.  If words and phrases are directional pointers, like a compass, to my experience, perhaps once I am fully within that experience, fully in contact with it, the compass spins wildly, as it is essentially unable to point to itself.

[Gizelle Alexander]

I always enjoy these threads. I often encounter them, read them, spin them around in my head and feel "speechless" to respond.  I am a Wordster if you will. I love language. I love bringing forth discussion. At one time I was proud to find myself in the middle of conversations where people would defer to me because I was "the authority" (probably only in my mind or in those I somehow convinced).  Now I prefer to throw ideas out there and listen. 

With regard to making up stories, I think that human beings in general do this. We "hear" what we want and we ascribe meaning to what is being said (or done) based entirely on our own experiences and beliefs and life-philosophies. And so getting to the truth of the matter I think is very hard. 

I'm going to take a shot at what I understand Shawn's "resistance" to mean. Could it be the preventing of flow? Could it mean that when we are experiencing something especially if it is foreign or in some way charged with an emotion we don't think we know how to deal with at the moment, that we prevent its flow?  I think of resistance as a force that, speaking of brick walls, puts a wall between us and an experience. 

It is not to say that I don't sometimes encounter resistance but it feels to me like it is always an opportunity for growth much like change and other things/emotions/events that I believe to be a challenge.  So that when in my review I got told that I am thought at times to be "unapproachable," initially I resisted the idea (using the verbiage in this thread). I got angry and defensive and immediately said that I have never been told that in other reviews.  But I decided since I am studying myself to assist others, I felt this "unapproachability" idea was fodder for growth. 

 

So I slowed down to look at what it could mean to be "unapproachable" as well as from whom and where this "criticism" came from. I have been working on being more patient. I looked back and found two instances where I was impatient or perhaps even a bit "gruff" with someone who did not understand what I thought of as a simple concept.  I  decided that rather than believe my peers at work should automatically listen, understand and respect me because I am a lower level manager, that I would put my money where my mouth is and make sure to be there when they needed my support, my knowledge in my area of the store, and most importantly, when they needed more than a supervisor but someone who is flawed but constantly working on herself. 

In that context, resistance was simply the ego getting in the way from informing me about something I genuiinely had to look at and act upon.  I had to get out of my own way. I had to work on myself for the sake of working on myself knowing that while I am VERY good at my job I am not perfect. I am a piece of clay constantly ready to face a new day with the opportunity to fashion myself into something new that day.

[Victoria SkyDancer]

Okay. Now that I have two minutes to rub together at last, I want to speak on this, since I've been playing with this concept on a personal level quite a bit for the last few months!

What I feel as "resistance" is when life take a direction that the Little One within doesn't like. She says, I don't like this. I don't want to play this game this way. I want to play the game (of life) MY way. Sometimes I can shift this resistance into acceptance, particularly when I find out what is rubbing my Little One the wrong way. Other times, I have to move through the resistance until it burns itself out.

I have found myself not liking the flow of life quite a bit these last few weeks. I've also found myself liking the flow as well. It depends on whether or not I'm meeting the Present Moment as it IS, or as I WANT it to be. When there's no preconceived notion in my head (from the Little One), I'm more in acceptance and able to enjoy the Moment Unfolding Now. When I'm in the preconception, if the Moment isn't matching that notion - hello resistance!

I am finding that experiences of "resistance" are invitations for me to examine my Little One's preconceived notions, and either reshape them or release them entirely. This one sentence Brian wrote in The Big Glow sums it up for me: "All suffering arises from the space between What You Think Should Be and What Actually Is." (possibly paraphrased, but I don't think so) I find myself still working on moving out of What I Think Should Be and embracing fully What Actually Is. It's turning out to be one of the biggest challenges of my life, and I find myself taking two steps forward - one step back many times, but I'm micromoving my way out of preconceptions...and thus, out of wholesale resistance.

Shawn, thank you for providing the space for these expressions and co-creations. Julie, Jennifer, and Gizelle, thank you for adding your spices to the soup. :-)