June 23, 2009 Tuesday Night Chats

[Gizelle]

"If the choice is love, I need to understand ... hmmm, we only experience our own feelings, someone else's expectations are their feelings, for which our consideration is required, but our responsibility is necessarily limited. So is it most loving to communicate directly and immediately?" and Shawn King answers his own question): " ... even if the waiting does no harm to the other, it does harm to the self, which stays in the fear state..."

What Shawn may be getting at here within the context of his topic: "Fear and the resistance and barriers it creates," is that he wonders whether it is more effective to keep silent on how you feel about something in order to consider other people's feelings, or would it be more effective if he voiced his feelings directly and immediately? An unaddressed conflict can become a monster between people.

A person who keeps quiet even when uncomfortable might alernatively decide to say how they really feel about a situation or stated opinion or another's behavior for example.

In the moments when we hide our truths, don't we love to fill in the blanks with made up stories??? even about the beliefs and motivations of others??

And then when do we learn the truth between ourselves and others' feelings? When does our truth get to be heard? when does their truth get to be heard?

[Victoria SkyDancer]

Excellent questions...
Although keeping the lines of communication open is essential, there are other factors to consider as well:
~Discretion. When and where is a good time to share?
~Delivery. Can I bring up a topic and discuss it calmly, but compassionately? If not, do I need to wait until I am in that space before I speak?
~Ownership. Am I ready to own my words and stay centered in my truth. Am I willing to allow the other participant to do the same? Is this something that can be worked out, or are we/am I looking for closure before moving on?

Above all, follow your instincts. You cannot be led astray by feeling. You can be led astray by (over-)thinking.

Blessed Be,
VSD